She & D: Missouri’s first Zzz & D Slumber Party was a rousing success!
The winning sleepover formula was classic: we stayed up late, drank hearty mugs of Joose, and feasted on a banquet of Bugles, Pokey sticks, and Cool Ranch Doritos. We played “I Never,” painted fingernails, and read Choose Your Own Adventure: Night of a Thousand Boyfriends.
There was some discussion of prank-calling She & D: PDX, but ultimately we settled for a Foxfire drinking game and multiple episodes of the ‘80s Dungeons and Dragons cartoon. If anyone wants to read my dissertations on “Sheila’s invisibility as a manifestation of female disempowerment” or “Venger: evil wizard of great power or Saturday morning Red Menace?” please drop a note in the comments section. At this point, I feel pretty confident that I could unpack the levels of privilege and symbolism in the Dungeons and Dragons knapsack (or, ahem, “bag of holding”) for hours.
One thing we didn’t do during the Zzz & D Slumber Party was actually play D&D. Gabe, our DM, arrived late but proved to be quite the sleepover asset once present. At one point he shared a Homerian tale of his heroic battle against heartworms, which had numerous twists, turns, romantic interludes, and moral lessons about whiskey’s sweet virtues. I fell asleep, then woke to rejoin the epic at two separate times without losing any of the narrative tension. I think the heartworms were ultimately defeated in the end, but I can’t remember how Gabe scored the critical hit. Dispel evil or cure serious wounds? I’m not sure I even want to know.
In the morning, we peered out the window and were summarily hit by cloud of bewilderment. Someone must have cast unholy storm while Akasha Ulfgar was explaining what a cervix is and where it can be found. Six inches of snow on the ground and a blizzard still in progress—what an unexpected jolt after the previous day’s 70-degree sunshine!
SNOW SWARM!
Esther B. Wells and Gabe had to leave early, but I made vegan pumpkin waffles for the remaining elves, dwarves and halflings; then Zzz & D Phase II: Brunchkin kicked in. We played a two-hour game of Munchkin, and despite my early warnings to form an alliance to stymie her rise to power, Hamburglar Helper wailed on us yet again. She really needs to be stopped.
Finally, nearly 24 hours after the band of adventurers arrived laden with Strawberry Shortcake pillows, Boone’s Farm and knowledge of arcana, they trickled out into the snowstorm. Rest assured, gentle human, another Zzz & D Slumber Party will take place in short order!
Akasha Ulfgar, Hamburglar Helper, Canklefork Hamiltoe and Plug Dragoyavitch
Oh yeah–I forgot to mention that a tiny animal companion named Spunky was present!
