Choice quotes from (mostly) queer ladies playing DnD
Chops: Can we loot them?
DM: They’re kind of composed of rotting flesh.
Aesh*: And loincloths.
Huffy: WANT!!!
Aesh: Add that to your bauble collection.
*note: In the prolonged absence of updated posts, Silka Sparkleshod was tragically murdered by a common monster thug. Fortunately, Aesh (a 4th level Dragonborn Dragon Shaman) was there to take her spot.
Silka: What happened to the orgy? Instead, all we got is a fucking blood-mouthed panther.
Chops: T-Shirt!!
DM (to Hecuba): You are large. You have a 10′ reach.
Nutsworth: Yeah, you’re practically hitting him with your dick.
Chops: I hold a knife to his neck and say, “Who’s the boss now, fucker?”
Franklin: And I run up behind you and give you a wedgie.
Chops: Well the jokes on you buddy. I’m not wearing any underwear.
Nutsworth: Do you guys think that there is a moment when you are coming down from Rage, and you are like, “Whoa. What the fuck.”
Silka: Yeah, you’re like. “Ugh. That was weird. Sorry about that.”
Hecuba: Its like having an orgasm.
DM: Its a rage-gasm.
Chops (still upset that the Slip ‘n Slide move didn’t work): We’re in some kind of mystery space right now, the law of physics don’t apply. I want you to pour whatever kind of cooking oil you have in this house over me and see if you all can hold me.
Nutsworth: You’re all greased up. Just slip and slide right into him.
Dwarf: Roll for Crocodile Mile.
Nutsworth: Slip ‘n Slide that mutherfucker.
Chops: Okay. I’m sliding feet first.
Dwarf: Or you could slide head first.
Nutsworth: No, if given a choice, you should always slide feet first.
Chops: Yeah, I’m Pete Rose.
Loki: There’s only two guys left. You guys can handle them, right?
Chops: No problem. I’m just greased up and sitting in front of a pillar full of hands.
